It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize