Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
