That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I am midnight drunk by noon
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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