i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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