4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Never underestimate the power of titties
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