New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
