Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
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I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
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Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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