I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
is wine microwaveable?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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