would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize