the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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