I smell stomach acid.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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