i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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