return my video game
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I supernannyed him into submission
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize