Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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