it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Two words: blizzard sex
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
