The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
