Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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