I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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