Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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