just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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