Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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