I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We have so much sex to catch up on
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
