first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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