dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
How external is "for external use only"?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
