Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
