her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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