Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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