So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
