Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
