yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
