i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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