If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
