Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
