The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Randomize
