She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
