Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
