9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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