You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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