Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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