Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
