I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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