allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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