so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize