just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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