Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
