she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
