dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
