im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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