Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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