READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
