Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
