I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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