We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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