You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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