just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
