clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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