if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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