I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize
