living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
