there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
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I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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