college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
