Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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