I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
