He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
