And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
