I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
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He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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